Introducing: Eris!

Hello! I was handed a list of questions. I will do my best to answer them all as accurately as I am able.

This is my face. I am quite pale.

Eris O’Reilly, Domesticated Chaos.
(photo taken by the lovely Lissa Clouser)

Name: Eris O’Reilly

Meyers-Briggs: ENFJ

Favorite beverage: In order of stress levels, from lowest to highest: Water, Coffee, VODKA.

Favorite genre(s) to read: Urban Fantasy, Sci-fi (lite), the occasional Who-Dun-It

Favorite place to read: IN MY BED, ALL SNUGGLY AND WARM

Things to do when you’re not writing: I actually have quite a few hobbies besides writing, (although, could you really call writing just a hobby? No. No you can’t). I draw pretty decently, and I play a lot of video games. I crochet, and knit a little. I read a lot (too much) fanfiction. I religiously (addictively) check my Tumblr. I suppose one could count that as a hobby.

Favorite Genres to write: Comedy, I suppose. I write a lot of urban fantasy, or straight up fantasy, or steampunk, or sci-fi, or horror…. But all of them are “funny.” Sometimes funny “ha-ha,” most often funny “queer.”

Writing Tool you can’t live without: My pen and yellow paper. That’s right, folks. I hand-write my rough drafts. All of them. By hand. So the next time you complain about your hand hurting, because you had to fill out some measly three-page form, you’ll understand why I’m laughing my ass off at you.

Random question (from Lissa Clouser): If I had the resources to build my own house, what five elements would it have?

First off, I’d like to mention that I have no architectural knowledge or skills whatsoever.

However, I like to house shop. I think I’ve annoyed each and every ferret at least 42 times since I’ve met them with pictures of pretty houses that I wished were mine. Or sent them random links to homes for sale. Or just moaned pitifully that I wished I owned a house so I could renovate it. (Seriously, I am surprised that these ladies put up with me).

So, anyway, without further ado, these are the five elements of houses that I really like and will be incorporating into the blueprints of my home if I ever get one built from scratch:

1)      Victorian or Colonial Structure.

(The following pictures are of homes for sale in the Sudbury, MA area, off of trulia.com. Because it’s a beautiful place, and the houses are quite lovely.)

A lovely two story home in Sudbury, MA.

Is this Victorian? I told you I don’t really know about architecture.

I just… I just love Victorian style homes, okay? I don’t know what the correct terms are to describe what about them I like so much, but I like that they have character. That they have porches and bay windows and their fronts are interesting shapes. And columns, it seems that Victorian and Colonial style homes all have columns, right? Anyway, I just love it. It makes me sigh in wistful wanting.

2)      An Awesome Entrance

I don’t like flat looking houses. I like porches, and steps, and cute shutters. I want to walk up to my house and think “Goddamn, it looks like rich people live here.” I want cute landscaping and nicely shaped trees and a freaking cobblestone path leading up to my awesome house of house. I need an awesome entrance.

3)      A Second (or Third! Or Fourth!) Floor

A gently curved staircase.

IT CURVES.

Bungalows and cottages are cute, but if I’m going to build my house, it’s going to have a second story at minimum. Not only does it make the face of the house from outside look better, but then I can have an awesome staircase. Something with a gentle curve to it. (Not necessarily a spiral, but not freaking straight either. Curves, people. My staircase will have curves).

4)      Hardwood Floors

Hardwood floors are an absolute must. Not only are they more attractive then carpet, they are easier to keep clean, easier to decorate (have you ever tried replacing your carpet because the color wasn’t working anymore? Pain in the friggin’ neck. Seriously, replacing a rug is so much easier than replacing the entire carpet), and most importantly, hardwood floors are more hypoallergenic than carpet it. An absolute must for my dust allergy. Achoo.

5)      Natural Light in the Master Bath.

Windows in the bathroom are lovely, lovely ideas.

I can sunbathe while bathing! What a concept!

Lastly (but not leastly), I love natural light. Sunlight. Moonlight. Whatev’s, I wants it. And while having a window or two (or seven) in your living room doesn’t seem too hard of a concept for builders to get, having a natural light source in the restroom seems to escape the grasp of the blueprint designers. I really don’t like the claustrophobic feel of showering in a tiny room completely closed off from anything resembling the outside world. There will be windows in my bathroom, so help me God.

                Bonus Question: What’s one element you would NOT have in your house?

Before I answer this question, I want to remind anyone that my apparent persnickety opinions on home design in no way reflects how I feel about the people that live in them. I’m sure you are all lovely people, and your homes are probably equally lovely without a second floor or an interesting porch.

Having said that, the one element I refuse to consider for my dream home is a ranch-style house. I just… can’t. Every time I see a ranch-style home, a little part of my soul dies. They’re so… long. And flat. And featureless. I don’t care if you have interesting statuary in your front yard; your house looks like packing boxes squished together in a row. I would rather live in a double wide trailer than a ranch house. Ranch-style homes make me want to stab myself in the eye with a ballpoint pen.

*takes a deep breath* But maybe that’s just me.

Like I said, these are my opinions. And my opinions only relate to the houses themselves, not the people the inhabit them. (Although, if you’re an architect that only designs ranch-style homes, I will more than likely give you the stink-eye. Just a friendly warning).

And that, ladies and gents, are the five elements that I would include (and one I wouldn’t!) into the blue plans of my home. What elements are absolute must-haves for you?

Hello happy bloggers! I am the resident blonde of the group, Eris O’Reilly. I love cookies and sunny days and piña coladas masquerading as milkshakes. Also, vodka. Mm, I love me some vodka.

A lot of my writing is humorous in nature, because I can’t take anything seriously. Ever. And neither should you. I am a firm believer that most of the world’s problems are because people take themselves too damn seriously. Lighten up, you folks in the back, I’m talking to you.

I also love to curse. As profane and colorfully as I can manage. Think Quentin Tarantino, but with more f-bombs and less unrealistically looking blood spills.

I also like cats.

You can find me here (www.erisoreilly.com) where I blog about my upcoming projects; reviews of books, movies, fanfiction, and video games; rant about the many, many things that make me go “SQUEE!”; and any other random thing that crosses my brain space.

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